About Last Week...
Homeland Security Protected the NFL Draft - Can You Hire Them for Your BBQ, Too?
The Department of Homeland Security gets a bad rap.
Deservedly so, of course, but maybe they wouldn’t be with “out-of-state, third-party, pre-endorsed Silicon Valley Bank checks” down at the bottom of the “Things Americans Trust” list if they didn’t do things like spend their time blanketing the recent NFL Draft event with head-to-toe high-tech security.
Yep: the NFL Draft got an unnecessary friendly – presumably on the taxpayer dime – from the DHS, and specifically from its the Cybersecurity and Infrastructure Security Agency (CISA). You know, the people - https://judiciary.house.gov/media/press-releases/chairman-jordan-subpoenas-cdc-cisa-and-gec-documents-and-communications - who have worked so diligently to make sure American’s are only exposed to information CISA thinks they should be -
And, considering the ruinous state of the border, I’m not really sure the DHS is who you call to keep people out of a venue.
From the inevitable, “What committee wrote this?!?” press release:
“…In the months (months? not busy with anything else?) leading up to this year’s highly anticipated draft, the Department of Homeland Security (DHS) Science and Technology Directorate (S&T), U.S. Army Engineer Research and Development Center (ERDC), the Cybersecurity and Infrastructure Security Agency (CISA), local officials, and the NFL collaborated to provide a safe venue for all participants (except of course the Jets https://www.sportingnews.com/us/nfl/news/nfl-draft-grades-2023-best-worst-classes/renlvvjn6ynaltohxjoz37yv ) - and the public.”
“Specifically, the collaboration included the deployment of the Ready Armor Protection for Instant Deployment (RAPID) barrier and the Deployable Expedient Traffic Entry Regulator (DETER) ((Both items made by the “Acronym First, Product Second Company” it seems.)) The RAPID barrier is a collapsible protective security product used for critical asset protection and intrusion prevention that stands up within 30 minutes. The DETER regulator is a barrier that protects critical assets and soft targets from vehicular attacks. It was designed for quick deployment and is adaptable to various lane widths, road surfaces, and environmental conditions.”
Hmm…sounds like something that might be useful in El Paso but who am I to say?
Here’s the entire press release detailing the stellar work they did - https://www.cisa.gov/news-events/news/public-private-partners-huddle-tackle-security-88th-annual-nfl-draft .
A final quote: “Our collaborative efforts have strengthened our ability to assess security needs and implement a strategic approach to ensure the safety of everyone at the NFL Draft.”
Again, the safety of everyone except the Jets.
Moving on, Bud Light continues to flounder like a deer in a traffic circle.
First, they irked many many people by partnering or whatevering with transchild Dylan Mulvaney.
Then – seeing sales plummet - they seemed to try to wiggle room the problem which pissed off everyone else - https://www.dailywire.com/news/what-a-disaster-anheuser-busch-angers-both-sides-of-political-aisle-with-meaningless-statement
Now, the brand has no clue as to what to do next as people, well, okay, maybe not people, but at least Bostonians shun Bud Light like it was the letter R -
.
All of this because some Groton/Harvard/Connected/Wealthy/White/Woke/Woman was for some inexplicable (check that – for a very obvious) reason put in charge of the Bud Light brand and she decided to make it hip like her.
One of the things that seems to be lost a bit in this whole debate is the beer itself.
Bud Light is not very good. It’s not very bad. It’s not expensive. It’s not the cheapest. It’s just there and is the beer you buy when you’re having more than six people over because it won’t break the bank and won’t offend or embarrass too much (and you have the good stuff for yourself in the crisper drawer, anyway.)
In other words, Bud Light is completely and utterly and absolutely replaceable – it’s the liquid equivalent of “Meh” or just leaving the TV on the same channel because you are too lazy to find the remote.
And – marketing 101 - replaceable products should never tinker with their message, their packaging, their recipe, their quality, their, well, anything because the moment something changes – looking at you Schlitz – the very weak spell of “well, it’s there, might as well” brand loyalty is shattered forever (this is a lesson the Olive Garden chain adheres to religiously.)
Can 99 percent of the public honestly say that if someone handed them a Coors Light or a Miller Lite instead of Bud Light they would care or even notice?
No, they can’t and that’s why Bud Light may never come back. If they make it cheaper they will only end up devaluing Bud, so deciding to compete against Natty Light is a non-starter; anyway (trust me) if you are limited to spending $1.49 for a tallboy it really doesn’t matter which liquid alcohol delivery system is in the can.
Bud Light forgot it was nothing and for some reason thought people went out of their way to specifically, intentionally, and only to buy it.
Other good brands can get away with offending and irritating their customers. For example, if Pliny the Elder beer inked a deal with say, well, maybe not Hitler, but someone or something seemingly really silly/bad (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals or People for the Edible Treatment of Animals or Junior Outlet Patrol: Baby’s First Electricians Kit or The Kamala Harris Academy of Oratory or the Red Brigade or the Illuminati or whatever) no one – and I mean no one – would bat an eye.
They would just keep drinking it because it is the best beer on the planet and is truly irreplaceable – don’t believe me? Here you go - https://www.beeradvocate.com/beer/profile/863/7971/ .
And if you can find it and you haven’t had it - https://www.russianriverbrewing.com/pliny-the-elder/ - have it and decide for yourself if you would drink it again if Dylan transdorsed it?
You’ll say yes.
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