So a special counsel was appointed to look into the squalid that is Hunter Biden.
In fact, David Weiss is a counsel soooo special he has to take the ethical short bus to court every day.
So why Weiss? According to Attorney General Merrick Garland it’s because he will not have to start from square one as he’s been investigating Hunter for a few years.
It has nothing to do with Weiss trying to gift Hunter and his pop (but not Cornpop) until the end of time (and 37 minutes after that) immunity for any and all and sundry and actual and real and flagrant and despicable and pathetic charges related to the Biden family business.
It has nothing to do with Weiss slow-walking the case to the point that he let the statute of limitations run out on numerous potential crimes committed while Joe “Do not underestimate his ability to fuck things up” Biden was the sitting vice president.
It has nothing to do with now being able to tell Congress “sorry, can’t talk about until we’re done, which should be about January 19th, 2025” when asked to testify about any corruption matter even hinting at the involvement of Joe and Jim and Jill and Hunter and the rest of the family that somehow ended up with cash.
It is my understanding that, typically, crackheads are not the main earners for a family; in fact, I believe, it tends to be the opposite:
So in that way, the Bidens have broken the mold – good for them!
But in every other way, they have not and are simply engaging in an extra-shell-company version of pay to play, the political game that has been around since before forever.
As noted previously, Joe Biden has been bitterly harping on his comparative Senatorial poverty for years. Couple that with his childhood experience of his well-off family going broke when he was about seven years old – forcing them to move in with his grandparents - and one can begin to see the roots of Biden’s financial envy go deep.
Being a senator pays well and, especially when you don’t have to pay for a second home in DC because you can commute from home every day, is more than enough to support a family in a very nice upper-middle class fashion.
But Joe wanted “Go To Hell!” money like he had before his daddy went bust and that’s what Hunter and the rest of the oily grifters gobbling up the slime trail of his career got him.
The funny thing is, there wouldn’t be a special counsel if Weiss’ legal team had botched the plea deal Hunter was happily – and very very eagerly – waiting to sign last month. But then…
Even though it was apparently written by hand with lemon juice in appendix G/4, codicil H, paragraph 18, sub-paragraph (r), the judge happened to notice that the deal seemed to rather strongly imply that Hunter could never ever ever again be charged with any crime related to being Hunter.
Now, happy happy joy joy plea deals do happen on occasion. Few, however, allow the defendant to plead guilty to things he has not even been charged with yet, especially if they are a matter of an on-going investigation.
The judge asked about this and the utterly impartial Department of Justice attorney apologetically (more to Hunter than the court) gulp-mumbled that Hunter was kinda sorta maybe pretty much-ish still a target of another investigation.
Amazed, the judge said maybe let’s hold onto this for a bit while y’all get your acts together, so how does the defendant plea?
Essentially, Weiss and his team out double-thought themselves and ended up, Emily Litella-style, having to say “oh, never mind.” –
So the man who is now the special counsel has been covering for Hunter and Joe from day one, has done everything he can to not be mean to the Bidens at all, and even opened an exit door for them, even if he did accidentally trip them as they tried to walk out.
Oh – and technically Weiss is not allowed to be a special counsel because he’s a regular Department of Justice employee.
That’s how special he is!
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