So on Wednesday night Donald Trump will not be somewhere.
That somewhere is the first in the series of Republican Party presidential candidate debates.
And Trump not being there seems to be dominating the pre-debate coverage. Oh well – not can be news, too, one supposes.
He will be somewhere, though – of course that’s a given as everyone is somewhere and wherever you go, there you are.
Who will be there? Let’s take a look:
Chris Christie – The Round Mound of Impound (Jersey joke) will do his best to focus exclusively on the person that isn’t there. That either makes his job really really easy or makes very little sense at all.
Nikki Haley – She will continue her perilous quest to be the vice-presidential nominee for, well, any presidential candidate. Therefore one would not expect her to be too too mean to others on (and off) the stage.
Tim Scott – In what feels like a practice run, the South Carolina senator will view the opportunity to build name recognition, call for unity in the face of the Democratic onslaught, and offer muted criticism of his opponents.
Mike Pence – While Pence will famously not be in a room alone with a woman who is not his wife, we do now know he does have a very specific kink: masochism. He cannot win and his whole campaign has been one giant very awkward question, the political equivalent of a ball gag, a woman dressed up in Gestapo gear, and a vinyl gimp suit. Whatever floats your boat, Mike.
Doug Burgham – Who? Oh, the governor of North Dakota. Actually an interesting guy – a North Dakota native – sold his North Dakota-based software company to Microsoft for a billion or so dollars and has re-invested much of that in – you guessed it – North Dakota. And he looks the part, a bit. He may surprise.
Asa Hutchison – Soooo inside DC he should have columns built around him. A very mediocre governor and congressman of/from Arkansas, Hutchison is very open borders and has said he wishes he hadn’t signed a bill barring mask mandates in Arkansas in April, 2021. And he’s dull and two-faced. But he doesn’t like Trump so the media loves him (PS – as of right now, he’s a not a definite but is a very likely for the debate stage due to the party’s debate threshold rules.)
Francis Suarez – He says he can beat Joe Biden and I kinda believe him. That being said, he will almost certainly not get the chance to try. He’s the Mayor of Miami, which is now a boomtown and - this is pretty much a first for the city - pretty well-run. Like Scott he could be setting himself for something down the road or, like Haley, he could be angling for a VP nomination. (PS – as of right now, he is not a definite to appear and he may or not make it past the threshold.)
Perry Johnson – He doesn’t look the part and he made his money giving ISO9000 and other quality certificates to companies. ISO9000, etc. are “quality” standards that do not ensure quality at all, only that everything a company does or owns is documented (that fine print in the corner of the sign in the bathroom at work that tells you to wash your hands? that fine print means it’s ISO certified.) In other words, it involves creating meaningless busy work for middle management types so they can justify their job. That’s the opposite of what DC needs. (PS – as of right now, he is not a definite to appear and he may or not make it past the threshold.)
And the top two (not including you know who):
Ron DeSantis – Oof. He still has potential and he would be a good president, if how he runs Florida is anything to go by. That being said, his campaign has been mottled, at best. Until recently – when he fired a bunch of people – he was being consulted to death (see Jeb Bush, Meg Whitman in California) by people who look at him and only see dollar signs. Therefore, Wednesday will be a big deal for DeSantis as he needs to re-convince people he can run a campaign well enough to actually take the nomination from Trump. If he can do that, he’s back in solid second; if he can’t, even debating Gavin Newsom directly in November may not be enough.
Vivek Ramaswamy – I guess hard work actually pays off. He started his campaign a long time ago and spent months criss-crossing the country even before others had announced. He’s quick, smart, telegenic, and confident. Already graced with the largest “positivity gap” amongst the candidates not named Trump when people are asked if they approve/disapprove of them, Wednesday will be incredibly important as it could allow him to go beyond likable, interesting, etc. to a guy who people think really could be president.
You can watch it starting at 8 p.m. central time on Fox News and if you want to put in your two cents, I’m leaving the comments open for this article so y’all can come back later and post your thoughts. Or post them now – whatever.
Trump will be Tucker on Twitter at about the same time…I’m pretty sure.
And speaking of leaders, let’s a have a final bit of fun with that time the Dutch ate their prime minister, courtesy of History Matters:
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A bit more background: William II, 24, suddenly died in 1650; 8 days later his son was born, the future William III. The anti-war, anti-Orange faction thus saw its chance to promote peace and trade rather than more war -- the 1648 Treaty of Westphalia had finally concluded not only the 30-years' war in Germany, but also ended the Dutch 80-year war for independence from Spain.
The young William III who became Stadholder after DeWitt's demise later became England's William III as well, he of William and Mary fame. Both Williams married Stuart daughters named Mary.