If I’m not on a list, they’re not paying attention.
If you are not on a list, then you are not paying attention.
If everyone is on a list, then is it even still a list?
A rather simple joke triad about the ever-increasing reach of the American security state.
It seems as if with each passing day something else, something new drips out somewhere that not only reinforces the notion that the government is actively and aggressively spying on its own people.
But wait – if we are a nation governed “by the people, for the people” shouldn’t we at least get to use the deep state? I mean, as George Costanza ranted, “Let me get my money’s worth!”
The point being that if it is okay for a government worker to sidle up to Facebook in an effort to change the outcome of an election, why can’t I do the same to shame my neighbor into mowing his damn lawn once a week?
Think about what it would mean if – in your own personal life – you had the same power that the veritable alphabet poop of government agencies actually do have over various and sundry news outlets, social media, and other web-based firms?
Here are just a few headlines/tweets/posts that would come about if the deep state worked for you:
· “Awful Neighbor Paints House Putin’s Favorite Color – Experts Worry About Potential Collusion”
· “How Many Cats is Too Many? Scientists Say Any More than One is Sign of Insanity”
· “Bill’s Firing from Walmart Likened to Stalinesque Purge”
· “Allowing Kids to Play in Yard Could Expose them to Abuse – Excess Irritating Child Noise Known to Attract Kidnappers”
· “51 Experts Say Mother-in-Law’s Accusation You Got Drunk and Flirted with Another Woman at Neighborhood BBQ Has All the Earmarks of her Being a Bitch”
· “Equity Demands Third-Shift Maintenance Worker Receive Same Pay as CEO”
· “Not Regularly Mowing Lawn a ‘Red Flag’ for Radicalization”
· “Scandal of the Century! Boy Wrongly Called ‘Out!” at Homeplate Leads to Calls for Umpire’s Ritual Disembowelment”
· “New ‘Pay to Use the Sidewalk in Front of My House’ Not a Tax but Legitimate Neighborhood User Fee, Economists Opine”
What a world that would be!
I’ve left the comments open so please do chime in with your own potential headlines and/or uses for your own personal deep neighborhood apparatus.
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Roots to reparations. For the love of money is the root of all evil.
Otologists agree: Second hand noise from neighbors' loud music can cause ear cancer.