Dampist Hate Speech Must End
A Call to Action from the National Humidity Council
Rarely, but occasionally, The Point does directly publish important press releases. We hope you take this message to heart.
In Defense of Humidity
National Humidity Council Calls for End to “Dampist Hate Speech”
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
CONTACT
Eden Vander Feucht
President, National Humidity Council
thegoodhumidman@gmail.com
MAY 18, 2022 – As summer – in the northern hemisphere – approaches, the National Humidity Council is calling on the public and the media to understand the benefits of humidity and to avoid the pitfalls of anti-humidity activity.
“Saying ‘but it’s a dry heat’ is one of the most problematic statements a person can make,” said Eden Vander Feucht, president of the Council. “It is a gross historical misunderstanding, negates the widely-acknowledged benefits of humidity, and singles out – ‘others’ if you will – only one of many meteorological phenomena. It saddens the Council that we must, bi-annually, remind the world that this type of dampist hate speech must be stopped.”
Phrases like ‘it’s a schvitz out there” and “it’s too sticky” and actions such as pulling at and flapping the middle of one’s shirt all lead to the continuation of such a hateful stereotype.
Humidity itself accounts for billions of dollars of economic value, from increased deodorant sales to additional re-painting opportunities for a typically underserved segment of the population. Natural moistness is truly an environmental gift, noted Feucht.
It must also be acknowledged that the unconscionable war on humidity has been shown to increase greenhouse gas levels and that, in the United States alone, more than 5 percent of the entire amount of electricity generated is used to combat humidity.
“If we let humidity exist in its natural state, we could save billions of dollars and millions of lives,” Feucht said. “We believe COVID would not have been as serious a problem if humidity had been allowed to act as it naturally does.”
For example, studies have shown that “(r)elative humidity below 30% is a dangerous environment because it is a perfect set-up to develop and transmit viruses.” It must also be stressed that humidity
· significantly reduces the likelihood to contract a respiratory infection.
· limits the development of allergens, mainly caused by mites and fungi.
· and above 40% disables airborne chemicals that cause irritation and diseases.
Humidity also benefits the skin, decreases the need for eye drops, and drives a significant portion of the textile industry.
As the United Kingdom’s Met(erological) Office has stated clearly – “Without water vapour, we would not be able to live on Earth.”
“Humidity is life – to mock, denigrate, insult, or deny it endangers the planet and everyone on it,” Feucht said. “Never forget – that if it truly were ‘only a dry heat,’ we’d all be dead by now.”
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The National Humidity Council is an advocacy organization created to ensure that humidity is understood, respected, and allowed to speak its own truth and is dedicated to spreading the message of the moist.
Oh, because of, you know, the internet is stupid, I suppose I actually have to mention this is satire…good lord. But the email works!