It’s Trump’s Fault

Joe Pardons Hunter for, Well, Everything

Well, at least we finally have a winner for 2024’s “Least Surprising Headline” contest:

“Biden pardons son Hunter Biden ahead of exit from Oval Office”

Sunday, Joe Biden did something he said he never would do – that is issue a truly sweeping pardon to Hunter on his federal tax and gun charges.

And – and here’s the sweeping part – anything else Hunter may have done that violated federal law between 2014 and now.

Anything.

I’m sure Hunter’s kicking himself for not breaking a few more laws during that time, but he may not have had time, what with his influence peddling and Ukrainian sinecure and crack use and busy prostitute schedule.

In what must be sheer coincidence, 2014 is when Hunter started “working” for Burisma and reaching out to Chinese interests in earnest.

Happy thanksgiving, Hunter!

Of course, Biden is blaming Donald Trump for forcing his hand and issuing the pardon, saying that because Trump has vowed vengeance (or at least that’s how the media has been playing it) against his enemies when he takes office that Hunter need the extra protection.

In a wonderfully satirical turn, Biden blamed his own Justice Department for going after Hunter for relatively low-level charges, saying:

“No reasonable person who looks at the facts of Hunter’s cases can reach any other conclusion than Hunter was singled out only because he is my son — and that is wrong,” Biden said in the clemency statement. “There has been an effort to break Hunter — who has been five and a half years sober, even in the face of unrelenting attacks and selective prosecution. In trying to break Hunter, they’ve tried to break me — and there’s no reason to believe it will stop here. Enough is enough.”

Besides Hunter breathing a sigh of relief, Joe’s skeezy brothers can also rest a bit easier now as much of the family business of monetizing Joe’s existence went through Hunter. Remove that lynchpin and it becomes more difficult to go after the rest of the family.

Some commentators are already saying the pardon “stains” Biden’s legacy. Hate to break it to you – that ship sailed long long ago.

Other commentators do make a more serious point, namely that this pardon opens up the door rather wide for Trump to pardon most of the defendants from the January 6 brouhaha. In other words, Democrats complaining about them will have far less relevance.

As they say, every cloud of crack smoke has a silver lining.