Wheel...of...Distortion!

Our President Takes His Turn on America's Favorite Game Show!

Here is just a bit of silliness for my subscribers, but do feel free to forward along. Thanks again!

The president has been in clear mental decline for years. 

Anyone who says otherwise probably also demands that you agree that the sky is puce and two plus two is racist, even before you have the time to say the answer is four.

And that brings us to the idea of Joe Biden on “Wheel of Fortune,”

The little chat with Sajak at the beginning?

“I’m Joe from Delaware and trains are what my coal mining grafathers ate before I became the first Biden to drive a truck through, you know, the thing!”

Being unflappable, Sajak simply moves on to the next two contestants, a middle age, middle America woman – a homemaker with a pair of lovely kids, doncha know - and a Black man finishing up his doctorate in electrical engineering at MIT.

And then it’s back to Joe and the first spin.

Joe leans down,  grabs the handle and – feeling the impact of whatever substance is used to keep him upright and channeling his fight with Corn Pop – he zips it around before wandering off-camera and is replaced by an intern who yells:

“Bonus Bonus Thousand Thousand!!!”

And it turns out to land on a $1000 spot!  Biden is propped back up, says it great that he created 1,000 jobs, and, after multiple prompts for a letter, guesses “7?”

With “7” being the wrong answer, Biden looks to his left and sees the woman…he wanders towards her while she spins, puts his hand on her shoulder, sniffs her hair and whispers into her ear that “I did that” just as she blurts out an “L”

The third contestant starts looking nervous as the president is now heading his way. 

“Heeeyyy Corn Poop!  How did you get out here?”

The contestant is terrified.

“Hey, let me do that for your people because that is the progress that can be made!” 

And Biden spins – and ends up on bankrupt and the person he thought he might be helping is left with nothing.

As the show goes along, Jen Psaki wrestles the answer cards from both Pat and Vanna and – despite trying to spell the word “road” with a schwa, - Biden gets into the final round.

The producers know what is up and must make sure it ends well – Biden must win – at all costs.

All of the usual letters are a given – RSTLNE

And this is on the Vanna Wall for Joe Biden:

__NTER

Trying not to cheat so obviously, Sajak leans over, asks Joe if “YOU” recall anything.

The seconds tick down in the studio .

After the buzzer goes, Pat says “Ooh, too bad, the word is Hunter!”

Biden’s black, speed-filled eyes  narrow as he looks at Sajak as he says –

“I’ve got people … they can make bad things happen…never talk about my son Beau.”

Afterwards, Jill says the only reason he went on the show was because he really wanted one of those giant porcelain dogs.