Why Isn't Incel a Gender?
Everything From Abigender to Xoy Makes the Cut, So What's the Issue?
A pointedly whimsical thought experiment…maybe
LGBTQIA+ is a shorthand – seemingly getting longer every day – way to conglomerate all non-traditional gender identifying people (I think – by the time you read this that description may be classified as, um, omniphobic?)
The “I” stands for “Intersex,” which is a person who is some sort (it’s their call) of combination of boy and girl.
The “I” does not stand for “Incel,” which is popularly imagined (probably pretty much correctly) as describing an anti-social fat 20-something guy with a scraggly beard who still lives at home and sits in the basement all day slurping energy drinks, eating junk food, playing video games and complaining to his online friends (the only type he has) that girls are stupid and that they, for some inexplicable reason, don’t like him so he has been forced to become “involuntarily celibate.”
Putting aside the obvious reasons why girls don’t like them (the vast majority of guys don’t want to be around them, either, by the way,) their existence raises a question – why is identifying as Incel not the same as identifying as anything else related to sex and/or gender?
From the Ontario (Canada, not California, though I’m pretty sure the idea is the same there and everywhere else) Human Rights Commission there is this series - https://www.ohrc.on.ca/en/policy-preventing-discrimination-because-gender-identity-and-gender-expression/3-gender-identity-and-gender-expression - of definitions related to the gender continuum:
Gender expression is how a person publicly expresses or presents their gender. This can include behaviour and outward appearance such as dress, hair, make-up, body language and voice … Others perceive a person’s gender through these attributes.
-and-
“Lived” gender identity is the gender a person feels internally (“gender identity” along the gender spectrum) and expresses publicly (“gender expression”) in their daily life including at work, while shopping or accessing other services, in their housing environment or in the broader community.
Does, therefore, Incel meet the standard? Seems to be the answer is a definite “yes.”
And considering the other, acknowledged, gender expressions, it is rather odd it is not already considered one.
From “Abigender,” defined as "experiencing two distinct genders, either simultaneously or at different times, but only feeling a loose or vague connection to each gender while also not feeling that any part of the gender is 'neutral' or 'neither,” to “Xoy,” defined as “Someone who identifies in some way as a nonbinary boy or nonbinary boy-adjacent. Someone who identifies with some part of manhood/boyhood but who wants a more nonbinary and neutral sounding word because they aren't entirely boys or don't want to be associated with the typical ideas brought up by the word 'boy,'" the terminology seems rather open - fluid, if you will - to the inclusion of pretty much anything, then why not Incel?
(Note – the definitions are taken from the Nonbinary Wiki and the entire list is here: https://nonbinary.wiki/wiki/List_of_uncommon_nonbinary_identities#Abigender . If you are typically concerned about the reliability of any ‘wiki” page, in this case you should not feel any pause as everything is simply made up anyway. And I strongly suggest that if you do visit the page that you make sure to have a stiff drink, or a cigarette, or a Xanax, or at least Mylanta standing by.)
If “earthgender,” – “a gender based in exploration and wildly swinging moods and identities. It constantly has some level of mystery, no matter what aspect you figure out” – is a thing, then Incel clearly qualifies as both sound a lot like “awfultobearoundgender” to me.
So what would it matter if Incel were considered a gender expression - or, put anaother way, an identity/mask/whim/affectation/kink/trendy way to draw attention to oneself ?
First, as a member of a protected gender class no one would be allowed to make fun of and/or negatively stereotype them, hence the third paragraph of this very story would be verboten.
Second, you could make the case for being afforded “gender affirming” physical and psychological health care services. Considering “gender affirming” care for trans people involves doing everything they want so they won’t (putatively) commit suicide, in the case of an Incel one would assume that course of treatment would take the form of a bath, a shave, lap band surgery, and a Medicaid prostitute.
Third, and most importantly, are the legal protections and rights afforded to the gender non-conforming – see here: https://www.un.org/ruleoflaw/thematic-areas/human-rights-and-gender/ and here: https://www.nyc.gov/site/cchr/law/legal-guidances-gender-identity-expression.page and here: https://www.eeoc.gov/youth/sex-discrimination , and, of course, here: https://www.ohrc.on.ca/en/policy-preventing-discrimination-because-gender-identity-and-gender-expression/8-duty-accommodate .
Incel-only public restrooms? Actually, considering their stereotypical personal habits, that might not be such a bad idea…
But Incel is more about an attitude, an attitude that condones harassment, threats, insensitivity, self-righteousness, and narcissism so that’s not part of gender expression, you say? Spend 37 seconds on any social media site and you will discover that many, many, many other gender expressionists engage in the exact same activity.
The sequestration of the Incel from the genderpalooza may involve cultural politics, but I cannot seriously imagine anyone on the continuum - such as a Niveigender, defined thusly: "a snowy, chill gender that's kinda soft. A light cover, also very soothing” - allowing mere grubby political differences to influence their unwavering commitment to equality and protection and safe spaces for all.
So it’s about time Incels take their rightful place amongst the proud and protected, the oppressed and the repressed, and leave the nation’s basements, speak up for themselves, and march proudly in all and sundry gender parades.
I wonder what their flag will look like?