The Cat's Meow

Is Jaguar Re-imagining Itself Out of Business?

In high school, I had a friend whose family owned a Jaguar XJ-12, a beautiful piece of machinery.

One day, the dashboard light – the light that lit up the speedometer – went out.  So they took it to the dealer, thinking they could drop it off, spend the afternoon shopping, and then pick up the car afterwards.

I think you already know where I’m going with this.

To change the bulb the left front quarter-panel had to be removed, the entire steering column pulled out, and the complete dashboard assembly disassembled.

Once that was done, three turns to the left to remove the bulb, three turns to the right to install a new one, and 87 cents for the part.  And then the whole thing had to be put back together again.

Suffice to say, it took more than an afternoon and cost waaaaay more than 87 cents.

And now there is this:

This – a new advertising concept from the company -  is waaaaay worse.

For years, Jaguar had a spotty reputation for quality and troubled finances (this will not help, by the way,) but if and when they worked they purred and growled as they prowled the roadways.  They were beautiful and incredibly comfortable and could go on a tear if one so desired.

In fact, Enzo Ferrari called the E-type “the most beautiful car in the world” and he should know.

But Jaguar has decided to go all in on all-electric vehicles. That may have almost seemed to be a plausible decision a few years ago, but now? 

The very lackluster sales of EVs, the awful re-sale value, the charging issues,  and the fact that even Ford loses about $60,000 per electric pick-up it sells all should have been a tip-off to Jaguar that that may not be a good idea now.

Couple that with the changing cultural climate that is seeing the power of the woke waning – there is nothing else you can call the new campaign – and the entire decision is rather akin to deciding to go all-in and ally with Germany in March, 1945.

And the cars look like this, like every other oddly fat EV, with no distinguishing sign that it’s a Jag.

So Jaguar decided it needed a whole new branding look to emphasize its new focus.  Here’s a commercial they came up with.

Did you watch it?  Watch it again.

In comparison, Homer Simpson’s ad for his snowplowing business is a model of clarity.

Now, as a fan of Mystery Science Theater 3000, I do get a kick out of the costumes, which were clearly found in the basement of a defunct B-movie studio and just spraypainted with dayglo Rustoleum.

But beyond that, seriously?

Again, I must remind myself and my readers that this is absolutely real – people got paid serious money to sit in rooms and think this up.

The ads are so odd, in fact, that the company’s marketing guy had to tell everyone no drugs were involved in the new campaign’s creation:

“This is a reimagining that recaptures the essence of Jaguar, returning it to the values that once made it so loved, but making it relevant for a contemporary audience,” writes Jaguar Land Rover’s chief creative officer Gerry McGovern. While at a press event, McGovern told journalists his team had “not been sniffing the white stuff — this is real,” according to Car Dealer Magazine.

I do not think we can be so sure of that.

Now, one can be very successful with a more conceptual type of ad – take the history of gorgeous print ads done by Silk Cut cigarettes like this one:

While they never showed the product or even mentioned the name, they made sense and got the message across while actually engaging the audience – you had to think just a moment and then you yourself put the words “Silk Cut” in your own head.  Quite brilliant, in fact.

Sometimes you create ads to help create a new demographic for your product, through exactly which demo Jaguar is hoping to grab with this is not exactly clear because, beyond “woke wet dreamers,” it does not make sense.

Then there is the corollary issue – irking your current customers by going in a “whole new direction,” as Spinal Tap once tried.

As with Bud Light, this will not end well.